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Shiny Motorcycle.....

Jokes and humour! Keep it clean(ish) folks!
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X5Sport
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Shiny Motorcycle.....

Post by X5Sport » Mon Aug 31, 2015 3:43 pm

Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck finding one he liked, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, I rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.'

And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline to go with the bike.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they go there on the new bike.

But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'

'We are a bit eccentric. More than a bit. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes. It’s been going on for ages.....'

'No problem,' he says, and in they go.

Joe is shocked! Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes! Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes!

They sit down to dinner and sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

So he leans over and kisses Sandra passionately.

No one says a word.

So he reaches over, unbuttons her blouse, and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her right there, in front of her parents!

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mum is horrified; so he sits back down.....and no one says a word.

He looks at her mum.....

'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs her mum, pulls her skirt up, bends her over the dinner table and has his way with her, right there!

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is absolutely boiling, but still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers the chrome on his Harley, so he stands up and pulls his jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father shouts out ... 'Alright!!! Alright!!! I'll do the bloody dishes!!!’
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graemeX5
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Re: Shiny Motorcycle.....

Post by graemeX5 » Mon Aug 31, 2015 8:29 pm

Very good  :))
Now: E70 X5 in Blue, 3 Minis Cooper S R53, JCW R56 & Cooper S Roadster R59 :drive:

Prev: Abarth 595C & 500C, E53 X5 4.4i, E88 135i M Sport, Audi TT Mk1 V6, 3 Smarts, 8 Vauxhalls, 4 Fords, 2 Triumphs, 1 Mini & Bikes

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jaynana
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Re: Shiny Motorcycle.....

Post by jaynana » Fri Sep 04, 2015 8:17 pm

:))
Current: BMW 640i Convertible (320PS)
             Audi A7 Sportback 3.0 T FSI quattro (300 PS) SE STronic  8)
Previous: BMW X5 E53 Facelift 3.0d

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535dboy
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Re: Shiny Motorcycle.....

Post by 535dboy » Sat Sep 05, 2015 5:12 am

:)) :)) :))
Currently :
2012 Audi RS4 (B8)
2012 Porsche Boxster S (981)
2008 Lotus Exige S (a bit modified!)
2015 Nissan Leaf twin turbo with Nitros

Previously :
2008 BMW X5 3.0sd MSport
2005 BMW 535d MSport

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