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Life in the Australian Army..

Jokes and humour! Keep it clean(ish) folks!
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amacman
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Life in the Australian Army..

Post by amacman » Sun Sep 27, 2015 4:06 am

Life in the Australian Army..
Text of a letter from a kid from Romagna to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Romagna is a smalltown, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )




Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but it’s not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buugered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the bullock paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody dingo's arse and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of pi55!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes yagotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
Me face looks like a fistful of busted arseholes but the city Jokers here reckon I'm a bit of a good looker.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.


Your loving daughter,

Susan

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X5Sport
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Re: Life in the Australian Army..

Post by X5Sport » Sun Sep 27, 2015 10:07 am

:)) :))
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Re: Life in the Australian Army..

Post by Mars » Sun Sep 27, 2015 10:12 am

:)) Bonzer!
I was very surprised to see my actual name at the bottom!
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Re: Life in the Australian Army..

Post by X5Sport » Sun Sep 27, 2015 10:15 am

[quote="Mars"]
:)) Bonzer!
I was very surprised to see my actual name at the bottom!
[/quote]

I will resist, must resist...... O:-)
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

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Re: Life in the Australian Army..

Post by Mars » Sun Sep 27, 2015 10:16 am

[quote="X5Sport"]
[quote="Mars"]
:)) Bonzer!
I was very surprised to see my actual name at the bottom!
[/quote]

I will resist, must resist...... O:-)
[/quote]

You on a diet again Richard?
M
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Re: Life in the Australian Army..

Post by X5Sport » Sun Sep 27, 2015 11:40 am

Trying to avoid being 'modded'.....or slapped...... :P
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

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Re: Life in the Australian Army..

Post by Mars » Sun Sep 27, 2015 11:56 am

[quote="X5Sport"]
Trying to avoid being 'modded'.....or slapped...... :P
[/quote]

I'm happy to slap you. But it will cost ya  ;)
M
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Re: Life in the Australian Army..

Post by 535dboy » Sun Sep 27, 2015 5:14 pm

Can you two stop it, somebody will complain
Currently :
2012 Audi RS4 (B8)
2012 Porsche Boxster S (981)
2008 Lotus Exige S (a bit modified!)
2015 Nissan Leaf twin turbo with Nitros

Previously :
2008 BMW X5 3.0sd MSport
2005 BMW 535d MSport

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