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On the bus

Jokes and humour! Keep it clean(ish) folks!
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X5Sport
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Re: On the bus

Post by X5Sport » Fri Oct 31, 2014 8:54 am

I'm only 30 mins from MK, so you get two chances to see an X6......and I was there last weekend.

Richard
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

IceQueenX

Re: On the bus

Post by IceQueenX » Fri Oct 31, 2014 9:59 am

Richard, I always keep my eyes peeled for your giant man pink machine but I have not yet had the pleasure!
I can only imagine....
Image

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Reusch
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Re: On the bus

Post by Reusch » Fri Oct 31, 2014 3:52 pm

Let the battle commence
JFT96.YNWA

Current
Jaguar XF

Previous
Porsche Cayenne 3.2 (money pit)
BMW X5 3.0D
Mercedes C Class,Mazda RX8,Jaguar S Type 3.0.

IceQueenX

Re: On the bus

Post by IceQueenX » Fri Oct 31, 2014 5:04 pm

I wouldn't suggest a battle of wits, you blokes are unarmed!  :))

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X5Sport
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Re: On the bus

Post by X5Sport » Fri Oct 31, 2014 6:32 pm

We have intelligence and devious cunning on our sides.  :)

Those of us with 'Man Pink' cars even more so because we are more in touch with our female sides....you girls stand no chance  >:D

Richard
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

IceQueenX

Re: On the bus

Post by IceQueenX » Sun Nov 02, 2014 10:27 am

[quote="X5Sport"]
We have intelligence and devious cunning on our sides.  :)

Those of us with 'Man Pink' cars even more so because we are more in touch with our female sides....you girls stand no chance  >:D

Richard
[/quote]

Listen Rich, or may I call you Dick?  >:D
As another wise forum member recently said-it's all rumour, show me true factual evidence!!  :))

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X5Sport
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Re: On the bus

Post by X5Sport » Sun Nov 02, 2014 12:02 pm

No contest.....I'm married to a blonde.. O:-)

Richard
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

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amacman
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Re: On the bus

Post by amacman » Mon Nov 03, 2014 4:37 am

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,

'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,

'No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'



And some blonde man jokes .

A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: " Did you find the shampoo? "
He answers, " Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine. "
------------------------------
A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
" I think it's got epilepsy, " he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, " It seems calm enough to me. "
The blonde man says, " Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet. "
------------------------------------
A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope " DO NOT BEND " .
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
------------------------------------
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, " My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart! "
" Is this her first child? " asks the Doctor.
" No! " he shouts, " this is her husband! "
------------------------------------
A blond man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, " That's your air freshener swinging about! "
------------------------------------
A blond man's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says " Why don't you
put an ad in the paper? "
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
" What did you put in the paper? " his wife asks.
" Here boy! " he replies.
------------------------------------
A blond man is in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
" Just WHAT are you doing? " he asks.
" Hanging myself, " the blonde replies.
" The rope should be around your neck " says the guard.
" I tried that, " he replies, " but then I couldn't breathe. "
------------------------------------
(This one
actually makes sense.)
An Italian tourist asks a blond man: " Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats? " To which the blonde man replies: " If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat. "
--------------------------------------
A friend told the blond man: " Christmas is on a Friday this year. "
The blonde man then said, " Let's hope it's not the 13th. "
------------------------------------
Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: " What if one explodes before we get there? "
The other says: " We'll lie and say we only found two. "
------------------------------------
A woman phoned her blond neighbour man and said: " Close your curtains the next time you & & your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday. "
To which the blond man replied: " Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

IceQueenX

Re: On the bus

Post by IceQueenX » Mon Nov 03, 2014 8:44 am

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thank you, amacman, just the kind of light relief needed on a Monday morning!
I didn't know there were blonde man jokes too!

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535dboy
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Re: On the bus

Post by 535dboy » Mon Nov 03, 2014 9:20 am

[quote="IceQueenX"]
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thank you, amacman, just the kind of light relief needed on a Monday morning!
I didn't know there were blonde man jokes too!
[/quote]

I could do with some relief too....
Currently :
2012 Audi RS4 (B8)
2012 Porsche Boxster S (981)
2008 Lotus Exige S (a bit modified!)
2015 Nissan Leaf twin turbo with Nitros

Previously :
2008 BMW X5 3.0sd MSport
2005 BMW 535d MSport

IceQueenX

Re: On the bus

Post by IceQueenX » Mon Nov 03, 2014 10:05 am

[quote="535dboy"]
[quote="IceQueenX"]
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thank you, amacman, just the kind of light relief needed on a Monday morning!
I didn't know there were blonde man jokes too!
[/quote]

I could do with some relief too....
[/quote]

So predictable!  ;)

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X5Sport
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Re: On the bus

Post by X5Sport » Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:54 am

[quote="IceQueenX"]
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thank you, amacman, just the kind of light relief needed on a Monday morning!
I didn't know there were blonde man jokes too!
[/quote]

He changed the gender so you would understand them.......
:ant: Never anthropomorphise computers. They hate that.

IceQueenX

Re: On the bus

Post by IceQueenX » Mon Nov 03, 2014 12:11 pm

[quote="X5Sport"]
[quote="IceQueenX"]
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thank you, amacman, just the kind of light relief needed on a Monday morning!
I didn't know there were blonde man jokes too!
[/quote]

He changed the gender so you would understand them.......
[/quote]


Oh, you are so in the S*** now; being married to a flaxen-haired female you must know we are not to be trifled with  >:D
(says the woman who just put the response in the quote box again and had to edit  :)))

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535dboy
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Re: On the bus

Post by 535dboy » Mon Nov 03, 2014 12:12 pm

[quote="IceQueenX"]
[quote="X5Sport"]
[quote="IceQueenX"]
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thank you, amacman, just the kind of light relief needed on a Monday morning!
I didn't know there were blonde man jokes too!
[/quote]

He changed the gender so you would understand them.......
[/quote]


Oh, you are so in the S*** now; being married to a flaxen-haired female you must know we are not to be trifled with  >:D
(says the woman who just put the response in the quote box again and had to edit  :))
[/quote]

And then missed the closing bracket !!
Currently :
2012 Audi RS4 (B8)
2012 Porsche Boxster S (981)
2008 Lotus Exige S (a bit modified!)
2015 Nissan Leaf twin turbo with Nitros

Previously :
2008 BMW X5 3.0sd MSport
2005 BMW 535d MSport

IceQueenX

Re: On the bus

Post by IceQueenX » Mon Nov 03, 2014 12:14 pm

[quote="535dboy"]
[quote="IceQueenX"]
[quote="X5Sport"]
[quote="IceQueenX"]
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thank you, amacman, just the kind of light relief needed on a Monday morning!
I didn't know there were blonde man jokes too!
[/quote]

He changed the gender so you would understand them.......
[/quote]


Oh, you are so in the S*** now; being married to a flaxen-haired female you must know we are not to be trifled with  >:D
(says the woman who just put the response in the quote box again and had to edit  :))
[/quote]

And then missed the closing bracket !!
[/quote]

Be quiet you! I'll deal with you too, in time!  :P

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