My Train Season Ticket
Posted: Fri Aug 27, 2010 10:00 pm
Hello folks, welcome to my world.
As some of you may already know, I drive a 2001 4.4 as the family car, having sacrificed the rest of the fleet to move east toward London for work.
A knock on effect of this is the need to take a train each day, in and out of our fair capital to get to my place of work and return home either after a social beer or otherwise on the first one available after the moment they stop paying me.
For this priviledge I pay the handsome sum of almost four grand a year...
So, the dilemma unfolds; I'm basically a nice guy, polite and respectful especially towards the ladies... opening doors, 'after you' etc etc
What I have quickly learned, to my own cost I'll have you know, is that in order to be assured of a chance at a seat on the hour journey is to become the opposite of every value i have been taught. Unlike the Tube which is predictable as to its consistent stopping point, this service is random and you either find yourself stood at the door and first on, or else last despite being on the platform before everyone else.
Often left standing with many others, moaning about why they cant lay on extra coaches, why cant we bump up to first class yadda yadda, they now actually employ a second train ticket guy who basically looks like a thug with a shaved head, stubble and earrings but knows the rule book backwards. From what I see its due to the grief the conductor gets that warrants the chaperone, perhaps at its funniest when non-first class passengers stand in the vestibule between coaches whilst on a standard class ticket, hilarious exchanges ensue but you cant beat the rule book and they will offload you into the custody of the railway plod if you kick off.... apparently, ahem.
One year on, just renewed the annual ticket and I'm a seasoned pro, disrespectful sh1t and rude to anyone who gets in my way, pushing and using my ample frame to deter would-be seat stealers, able to read reserved seat tickets at 10 metres for that elusive free shot, basically everything I'm not.
If you cant beat them, try kicking instead.
As some of you may already know, I drive a 2001 4.4 as the family car, having sacrificed the rest of the fleet to move east toward London for work.
A knock on effect of this is the need to take a train each day, in and out of our fair capital to get to my place of work and return home either after a social beer or otherwise on the first one available after the moment they stop paying me.
For this priviledge I pay the handsome sum of almost four grand a year...
So, the dilemma unfolds; I'm basically a nice guy, polite and respectful especially towards the ladies... opening doors, 'after you' etc etc
What I have quickly learned, to my own cost I'll have you know, is that in order to be assured of a chance at a seat on the hour journey is to become the opposite of every value i have been taught. Unlike the Tube which is predictable as to its consistent stopping point, this service is random and you either find yourself stood at the door and first on, or else last despite being on the platform before everyone else.
Often left standing with many others, moaning about why they cant lay on extra coaches, why cant we bump up to first class yadda yadda, they now actually employ a second train ticket guy who basically looks like a thug with a shaved head, stubble and earrings but knows the rule book backwards. From what I see its due to the grief the conductor gets that warrants the chaperone, perhaps at its funniest when non-first class passengers stand in the vestibule between coaches whilst on a standard class ticket, hilarious exchanges ensue but you cant beat the rule book and they will offload you into the custody of the railway plod if you kick off.... apparently, ahem.
One year on, just renewed the annual ticket and I'm a seasoned pro, disrespectful sh1t and rude to anyone who gets in my way, pushing and using my ample frame to deter would-be seat stealers, able to read reserved seat tickets at 10 metres for that elusive free shot, basically everything I'm not.
If you cant beat them, try kicking instead.